Budget cuts

I heard there were alot of changes lately in policy, but didn't realizes it has gotten this far.  Due to recent budget cuts, I'd like to welcome you to your new office cubicle. 

I'd also like you to review our new office policies.

Effective March 14, 2011

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.

They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.

There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stalldoor will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management

Pass this on to all who are employed!
 
 
 

***** PLEASE NOTE *****

 

Ok, I am not the original creator of these photos and memo.  It is a copy of a copy of a copy of a forwarded message.  You know, one of those emails that gets sent and repeatedly forwarded until the original creator's name is lost.  I simply liked it so much I wanted to share it with you too.  If anyone knows the name of the original creator I will be happy to update this blog post.  I love their cardboard creativity.

Welcome new followers

Welcome to my new followers!  Although it's sometimes a long time between my posts, I'm really glad you joined me.  I'm still working on the breakfast bar and taking photos.  I hope to have more photos ready this month.  Making the breakfast bar came to a halt when I got busy with quilting work over the holidays. 

Creating with cardboard is a hobby but quilting is my work.  Work is what pays my bills. 

I plan to make a couple of changes to how this blog works before I get too many posts written.  I want to make it easier to follow the steps and print them out if you want.  I'm not very computer savy so it takes me a little longer to figure out how things work.  Hmm... it also occurred to me.... each time I get things figured out, blogger makes changes.  It's hard to keep up. 

If there is anything unclear with the steps, please let me know.  I tend to loose track of what I've done and what I've written about.  What happens is I will work on a cardboard project taking photos.  The photos are for writing posts of the steps later.  Then I'll have to stop to go do something else for a few days without getting the step posts written. When I come back to the cardboard I've lost my place.  I can't remember what step I finished writing and what still needs to be written.  Do you ever have this happen to you? 

Well anyway, a reminder from a reader is usually enough to help me get back on track with the next step.  Creating is always more fun than writing about creating.  I also have a mother in a nursing home and I babysit my granddaughter while my daughter goes to college classes in the evening which means I can't spend a lot of time type-talking on the computer. 

Thanks again for joining as a follower.  I hope I can make cardboard an enjoyable hobby for you.

Still here

Gosh, it seems like forever since I've had a chance to work on the cardboard furniture.  I have other priorities to get out of the way before I can play with cardboard again.  Buttoning up the house for winter is a priority.  So is finishing up customer quilts.  I don't want this blog to go dormant in blogger.  Which is why I'm writing a simple post.  I have a ton of ideas for furniture creations.... right here in my own house.  I keep telling myself..... someday, someday, someday.  Well, I'm pretty anxious for someday to get here!